At ten years old, I became the proud owner of two unwanted eyeshadows that my grandmother discarded from a gift with purchase.

The eyeshadows were encased in blue lucite compacts that sparkled like aquamarines in the daylight. I was awestruck by their magnificence.

I pried open the compacts with my awkward fingers, revealing two hidden oases: one brown, one purple, each flanked by a miniature sponge applicator. I turned them at an angle to reveal the names of the shades labeled on the back: Sandstone and Amethyst. Feelings of exhilaration stirred deep within my lungs. I decided to show them to my fellow troopmates during an upcoming Girl Scout camping trip, so I placed them in my backpack alongside my toothbrush, nightgown, spare jeans and t-shirt.

The day of the trip arrived. My mother dropped me off in the school parking lot and drove away. I swung my backpack over my shoulder and boarded a small bus filled with the banter of girls en route to the remote woods of northern Wisconsin.

The sky was backlit and mysterious as we settled into our cabin. At nightfall, we nestled into our cots and told ghost stories by flashlight. I unzipped my backpack, took out the compacts and opened them for all to admire. Sandstone and amethyst carats bored with an unearthly fire as we waited for the alchemy to begin.

The air smoldered as we dipped the eyeshadow applicators into the pigments and adorned each other’s faces. We played ‘Light as a Feather Stiff as a Board’. We called out for Bloody Mary and asked her to reveal her face. Outside of the cabin window, a gnarled oak tree waited to join in the game. It extended its branches in greeting and scratched them against the pane to get our attention. Terror coiled at the base of our spines and prickled the backs of our ears. We gasped aloud in fear and delight.

The moon slid behind a veil of clouds as we observed our finished masterpieces. We discussed the artistry of our choices and the bone structure of our fellow sisters. One by one we drifted off to sleep. In the morning we scrubbed ourselves clean and set off, barefaced in the sunshine, to enjoy a hike along the river.

My first job out of college was at a department store cosmetics counter. I was surrounded by a clientele consisting primarily of women looking to create a subtle glow with the help of the magic of makeup. Over the years my career path evolved into back office roles. I was surrounded by the constant glare of computer screens and looking to create a buzz with the magic of endless coffee.

Makeup was not a part of the latter experience. If I glowed it came from the endorphins produced by the fitness classes I squeezed in after work, or the fresh shirt and deodorant I slapped on before grabbing dinner with my gym buds directly after. I knew I could do better, so I decided to restore the magic.

Shortly thereafter, beauty influencer channels began popping up on YouTube and other social media outlets, offering makeup tutorials that promised to correct and perfect.

Many of these channels employed a sophisticated mix of technical elements, including expert lighting, camera angles, clever editing and complementary studio backdrops. I followed a few tutorials and attempted the techniques, but the results that appeared so flawless and effortless onscreen looked cakey and suspect in my mirror at home.

I was still having fun, though. I kept looking at channels and found a few gems, notably Robert Welsh.

Dressed stylishly in black and white with edgy splashes of color, @RobertWLSH starts every video on his YouTube channel by stating, “It is my goal to help you become a pro yourself, or just someone who is really good at makeup.”

He began his career working behind a MAC counter at Selfridges Department Store and credits the interactive nature of the environment as being a key factor in his artistic development. His professionalism is apparent by the manner in which he interacts with his subscribers; he is warm, respectful and seems genuinely rooted in a place of gratitude.

The tutorials on his channel address the differences between makeup applications that look good in studio lighting and makeup applications that look good up close and in person. He focuses primarily on the latter and offers practical, useful tips, like identifying products with flattering undertones and textures, holding brushes for effective application, and blending out eyeshadows without becoming a patchy hot mess.

He also maintains that once you understand the general rules of makeup you can break them effectively. Upon hearing this, I felt validated in my renegade habit of camouflaging my undereye circles by shading
the area surrounding them with a matching tone and adding a spark of light to the lashline beneath my iris with a dash of metallic shadow or liner. While it makes me feel cute, I can’t help but wonder if the end result might cause him to recoil in horror.

And while we’re on the subject of horror, my favorite part of his channel is ‘Ghosts and Makeup Monday’. During this weekly get-ready-with-me series, he reads from a selection of ghost stories and/or paranormal encounters submitted by his subscribers. As he reads, he creates an accompanying, thematic makeup look aimed to enhance the mood, like a green, toxic-waste ghost or a creepy figure lurking in the shadows. Overall, the experience is moody, fun and driven by the joy of creativity itself, and not as a vehicle to correction and perfection.

Was the magic restored? Yes, and abundantly so. With the help of a modest stash of cosmetics (that has, in recent years, thankfully expanded beyond the range of two eyeshadows) I can wield my powers to create a look that leaves me looking subtly enhanced and appropriate for the office or dinner plans.

Or one that transports me back after all these years to the remote woods of northern Wisconsin, where a gnarled oak tree still waiting to join in the game extends its branches in greeting and covers my face with a flurry of scratches.

Scratches that entice Bloody Mary out from the darkest patch of night and into the corner of my mirror for a closer look.